People always ask me how I stay so thin and fit. Here’s my secret diet. Today I ate:
Breakfast
1 glass of coca-cola
2 glasses of ginger ale
2 slices of margarine-and-peanut-butter toast
1 thick-and-juicy cheeseburger on a gigantico seasoned bun
1 bag of chips
Lunch
3 glasses of coca-cola
1/2 medium pizza
12 hershey kisses
2 packages of sweettarts
Dinner
4 glasses of coca-cola
1/2 medium pizza
1 twix chocolate bar
1 cookies-and-cream chocolate bar
Sweet jesus am I ever going to die young.
I’m a big eater and I remember you scared me with your food consumption.
i see nothing wrong with this – usual fare for wizards really…
all proteins should be served on bread, all liquids should be fizzy (helps with levitation), and everything else should be candy (which, in actuality, is a poor substitute for babies – what wizards *used* to eat for afters. some believe the switch from babies to candy detrimental but that has yet to be substantiated.)
Babies are all cartiladge, you just can’t get a satisfying crunch out of them.
makes a good jerky though.
…YOU make a good jerky!
i tried to give up cola and it almost killed me.
i didn’t get past 2 weeks.
haha. that’s pretty much the college diet (or so i’ve found so far).
margarine and peanut butter?! wow.
i am sorry i think u are leaving something OUT!
it’s either a magic diet, or a metabolism i would seriously injure for.
I take it those teeth are not your own? :}
Ironically enough, I’m on the very same Jairus Diet. Coke just flows so well into any meal. Even if the meal is Coke.
You, sir, understand the value of a good meal.
Hey, if it makes us 5’8″ and 125 pounds, it’s gotta be a good meal :P
Perhaps one day soon I will try to make ‘The Meat Thing’ again…
Then Jai, you shall remember what I truly good and honest (translating to Carnivore!) meal is.
… I can already hear our arteries crying as they harden. But first, the cries of the animals.
T.Oni