Category Archives: LiveJournal Imports

but the earth did not tremble

He said: Do you remember how the stars used to sing for me? How the sky would open itself at night?

She said: I don’t know how I got so far away. I don’t know.

…

When I was young, I watched the moon fall from the sky. It crashed into earth, imbedding itself into the horizon, an impossibly huge half-circle dominating the landscape. We all stopped and watched, old men leaving their cars by the roadside to step onto the grass, to maybe reach higher ground. We were whole then, brought together by something greater than ourselves.

…

Leslie, when I need magic, I think of you.

The Last Resort

A terrifying read about Jamaica’s Tranquility Bay – a 60K a year ‘behaviour-modification centre’ for the children of the US/UK elite.

‘You have to understand,’ a former student, who turned 18 and walked out, tries to explain. ‘The staff are constantly trying to work out what you are thinking about and constantly telling you what to think about, and then constantly checking to see if you are thinking about it. And if you’re not, and they know you’re not, you might as well be dead.’

A parent’s perspective:

‘Sure, he complained like hell at first,’ he recalls fondly. ‘Typical case of manipulation, just like they said in the handbook. He said the staff were mean and violent, they beat you, the food is terrible.’ He chuckles, pleased by the neat symmetry of the handbook and letters.

(This centre would be highly illegal on UK grounds, which is why it is located in Jamaica. Via Robot Wisdom.)

149

Summer nights:

– Dark Carnival 4 (a resounding success) has left me with a feeling that perhaps there is something more to do here.

– A quiet moment on the porch, the moon half-full and as bright as day.

– A stolen night with Leslie, secret kisses and midnight whispers

– Insomnia(?) leaves me to watch the sun come up, filtered light and the cry of crows. They still live, here.

The answer lies in seeking

I used to spend my time on people who I know aren’t going to listen, on the off-chance that maybe, maybe some of what I say will make some sense to them, that I’ll make a difference, somehow.

In my heart, I know it doesn’t work that way.

I remember years of frenzied activities, stressful conversations, flamewars, debates, all of it. I remember throwing myself at countless brick walls, trying to knock them down through sheer force of will.

But still, stone remains stronger than flesh.

…

At my worst, at my most vulnerable and drained, I found someone to teach me, to help me cope with the world. Three lessons above all else: We are all responsible for our own happiness, whatever I put my efforts into will increase, and to choose my battles.

I try to keep these close to me in all things. I try to make sure that any cause I devote myself to is positive, just, and not outside of my reach. We can spend forever fighting on the ground to see who will be first to reach the stars.

I still feel these things are true.

…

There is a solution here. There is an answer, somewhere within these words and these walls.

There is truth, if I can find it.

The super-duper magical Negro

Racial profiling in hollywood:

“Historically, if a black person is thrust into a white universe, it is inevitable that the white people will become a better person,” says Thomas Cripps, author of “Making Movies Black: The Hollywood Message Movie from World War II to the Civil Rights Era” and other books on African American cinema. “Sidney Poitier spent his whole career in this position. Sidney actually carried the cross for Jesus in ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told.’ “

Words, again.

This death is a slow one, this death is friction.

Listen:

There is a wall, made of language and logic and reasoning that I cannot penetrate. I cannot tell what the rules are beyond this wall, I cannot tell how it is that what I do is always so improper, so problematic.

I stumble and fall time and time again, thinking that what I am doing is correct. Appropriate. Just. In this, I cannot help thinking that I live alone.

I bloody myself via action and inaction, trying to make it to the other side through sheer will — but stone is stronger than flesh, and every scar is forever.

I hear them, speaking to me through the skin. They whisper secrets and truth in another tongue, and I cannot make myself understand.

..

All things are a process; on a long enough timescale, the probability of any action will approach certainty.

The process of life will always resolve itself; the process of learning has no guaranteed resolution.

There is no comfort here.

…

The only things that seem real are half a lifetime away.

Toronto.

…and we crossed the street as fast as we could, the familiar words of hatred in the air.

Bitch. Cocksucker.

They had already knocked the girl down in front of traffic, and she was screaming, sobbing, screaming. The man who almost ran her over had tried to help, and he was on the concrete, three times my size. That left two of us, and six of them.

We got her out somehow, fighting to protect a young lady the size of a twelve-year-old. She didn’t even know we were there, I don’t think. Only that she wasn’t being thrown around anymore, and she was getting away.

By the time security and the cops arrived and dealt with the others, we had made it to the underground parking and out of sight. Leslie kept the police looking elsewhere long enough to share a few cigarettes, and eventually she could talk again. She was from Ottawa, her name was Diane, and between the drugs and the crack of skull on asphalt, she was in pretty bad shape.

The squad car found us eventually, of course. Her boyfriend had already been arrested, and she managed to tell the police that he had her money, her ticket home, her everything.

The security guard asked me if I was alright, and I said that I was. Then she waved to us as the police car pulled away, and by that time it was daylight.

Who knew?

Two recent things I’ve really, really enjoyed:

Infected Mushroom – Converting Vegetarians

I’ve been listening to Infected Mushroom since 1999, when they released their first full-length album, The Gathering. I’m often bored by four-on-the-floor techno, but this album really caught my attention. You could tell they didn’t take themselves too seriously, and the songs were fun, and well written and produced. Their next album was in the same vein, especially with tracks like Dracul, where an orchestral sample from the score of Dracula turns acapella mid-way through the song.

I had a chance to see them live, and their show was nothing short of incredible. Their last two albums, however, were ‘serious’ trance, and not very interesting at all. And so, I mourned for the loss of yet another electronic act destroyed by a desire to be accessible.

Which brings me to Converting Vegetarians. This is a double-cd release, the first disc consisting of ‘old school’ Infected Mushroom tracks. Very blippy, goofy, and not at all self-involved. Fantastic, but not too interesting unless you’re a fan of the style (which I am). The second cd is mainstream trance, complete with uplifting synth lines, and cheesy female vocals. Chord progression, and all that. Fantastic, but not too interesting unless you’re a fan of the style (which I am not).

Overall, the album is excellently accomplished, and intelligent. Regardless of which style you prefer in your goa-slash-psytrance, there’s at least an hour of music you’ll enjoy. Listen to it.

Equilibrium

This is a first film by Kurt Wimmer, who wrote, directed, and kicked my ass. Seriously, this film would have been an instant sci-fi/dystopian classic if Dimension Films had marketed it whatsoever. I had never heard of it before I stumbled across it in a binaries newsgroup, and I thought it’d be a funny Matrix rip-off that’d be worth a few laughs. Instead, I got the ass-kicking.

This is simply one of the best movies I have ever seen. Visually, it’s beautiful. Set in an Orwellian post-war world, the visuals mix imposing real-life architecture (Hitler’s Olympic Stadium) with paintings instead of models, giving the setting a washed-out, surreal feel. The action sequences show the first real innovation in film gunfights since Bullet Time, or when Chow-Yun Fat first jumped onto a dolly with two handguns. All the actors are perfect (really, perfect) in their roles, and the lighting is the best I’ve seen since a Coen film.

Wimmer manages to do more with a ridiculously short shooting window and a tiny budget than most action directors have ever done. No distracting CGI, no wires (really – no wires), and for at least half the action sequences, no choreographer and no rehearsal time. The only thing more impressive than the movie itself is that it came out of production conditions terrible enough to sink most films.

In addition, the movie is brilliant. Obviously drawing from Bradbury, Huxley, P. K. Dick and other great dystopian writers, the world this movie is set in gives me the same chills that I felt the first time I read 1984. The plot is simple, but the narrative is complex, and repeated viewings reveal insight and subtleties into the motivations of the characters.

I’ve seen a dozen reviews that have called it the worst piece of cinema since Battlefield Earth, but I can’t say enough good things about this film. It’s science fiction, it’s dystopian literature, and it’s a fantastic action movie. Rent it. Buy it. If you can’t find it, I’ll give you a copy. Just watch it.

So you will have another ticket, for losing your senses.

A brief history of Canada’s marijuana laws is relevant reading, considering the Prime Minister’s recent assurance that pot is soon to be decriminalized, and our friendly neighbour to the south’s not-so-veiled threats.

I firmly believe the Bush administration will bring about the end of American-Canadian trust and goodwill. This is just one action of many.