Tag Archives: coffee

Moving over and making room

Starbucks was hit by a well-organized culturejam last night. Locks were jammed, ‘For Lease’ signs were hung, and fake notices on Starbucks letterhead were attached to the windows:

“The global economy requires a relentless substitution of quantity over quality and shareholder value over human values. At our current market level, Starbucks cannot in good conscience guarantee all of our beans meet both our rigorous quality standards as well as our commitment to social responsibility. We are moving over and making room for local coffee bars.”

Less than 1% of Starbucks coffee is fair trade, and if you try hard enough, you can taste the jet fuel they use to roast the beans.

85

[basics]
name: Jairus W.K.R.P?
do you like it? How could you not like being Jairus W.K.R.P?
nicknames: Jai, Fucko, Bitch.
screen names: Twiin, Jyro
age: 23
birthday: May 22, 1979
sign: Twiin
location: Ottawa
school: No.
natural hair color: Black
current hair color: Blue
eye color: Green and Amber
height: 5’8
weight: 120
birthplace: Ottawa
shoe size: 9

[ family ]
parents: Jacqueline the Biker and Flint the Turkish Mafia Don (you think I’m joking, don’t you?)
siblings: Oliver in BC, Silk (AKA Eternia the Rap star) in Toronto, Jessica in Toronto, Joshua in Toronto, Joshua mk2 in Ottawa, Charlie in Ottawa.
live with: Leslie, Suzanne.

[ this or that ]
me/you: them
coke/pepsi: Coke!
day/night: Dusk
aol/aim: AIM
cd/cassette: cd
dvd/vhs: dvd
jeans/khakis: Cotton! It works!
car/truck: Motorcycle
tall/short: Short
nsync/bsb: Milli Vanilli
britney/christina: Samantha Fox
gap/old navy: Randy River
lipstick/lipgloss: Lipstick
silver/gold: titanium
alcohol/weed: ew
crunchy/smooth: smoooooth

[ love and relationships ]
do you have a bf/gf?: Only one of them.
do you have a crush?: See above
why do you like this person?: Soft… Pretty… Smell good… oh BIG BRAIN TOO BRAINS ARE GOOD LOVE YOU LESLIE
if you’re single, why are you single?: I’m single?
how long was your longest relationship?: 2 1/2 years.

[ the past ]
what is the one thing you would change about your past?: I would airdrop bags of money into yesterday.
what is the biggest mistake you’ve made in your life?: The Punk House.
last thing you said: Sitar Player!
who is the last person you saw?: Jewbear
who is the last person you kissed?: LESLIEBEAR
who is the last person you hugged?: LESLIEBEAR
who is the last person you fought with?: Some fuckhead on XVI
who is the last person you were on the phone with?: Gowan
what is the last song you heard? Something by Forma Tadre

[ the present ]
what are you wearing?: Black socks, black pants, black shirt, black shoes, black hoodie.
what are you doing?: Working. No, really. :)
who are you talking to?: Violetnun!
what song are you listening to?: The sound of a thousand monkeys on a thousand keyboards.
where are you?: Work!
who are you with?: Workers!
are you online?: Am I posting this?
how are you feeling?: I’d rather be fishing.
are you in a chatroom?: I work in a chatroom.
do you smell good?: Do Turks smell good?
is smell important to you?: Only when I notice it.

[ favourites ]
incense: Nag Champa.
wine: Inskillin Ice.
cheese: 12-year-old cheddar. Or Black Diamond processed slices.
coffee: Jamaican High Mountain, from the Baronhall Estate.
season: Summer.
vegetable: AIEEE
fruit: EEEEE
meat: All of it.
bread: Anything white. Yo.
cookie: PIRATE COOKIES! ARR!
drink: Jolt.

[ future ]
what day is it tomorrow?: Two days after yesterday
what are you going to do after this?: Glare at the LAN Manager
who are you going to talk to?: Whoever talks to me first
where are you going to go?: Continue ‘working’
how old will you be when you graduate?: Graduate from what, exactly?
what is one of your dreams?: Nightclub, Cafe, leet design job…
where will you be in 25 years? Bald

[ have you ever ]
drank?: Is this for real?
smoked?: Only 15 times a day.
stolen?: These questions suck. How about these ones instead: ran from cops while stealing? done obscure drugs with only consonants and numbers for a name? caused over ten thousand dollars in property damage? in one night?
done anything illegal?: assaulted an officer of the law? arson? conspiracy? treason?
wanted to die?: Why am I answering this again?
hit someone?: sigh

[ other ]
do you write in cursive or print?: Print
are you a lefty or a righty?: Depends what you mean, I suppose.
what is your sexual preference?: People, mostly.

[ physical appearance ]
what do you most like about your body?: I have all the bits that I’m supposed to.
and least?: They all look kinda funny.
do you think you’re good looking?: For a Turk.
do other people often tell you that you’re good-looking?: One person does, bless her feminist heart.

[ fashion ]
do you wear a watch?: No. Adam broke mine, and I’ve been too shattered to replace it.
how many coats and jackets do you own?: Three or four trenchcoats, maybe one that isn’t?
favorite pants/skirt color?: #000000
most expensive item of clothing?: 200$ boots.
most treasured?: Leather trenchcoat #1.
what kind of shoes do you wear?: Combat boots, most of the time.

[ politics ]
do you believe in the death penalty?: BOO
right/left: Left
do you believe in a woman’s right to choose?: Yes. I also believe in a man’s right to choose.
do you believe in the sanctity of conception?: In that chemical-reaction kind of way, yep.
do you believe in penal justice?: Punishment =/= Justice.
do you think you know what it means to be a feminist?: Nope.
do you believe in corporal punishment?: I believe in a good beating.

[ stuff ]
someone you’d like to get back in touch with from your past: David Lea.
old product from your youth you wish they’d bring back: Gatorgum!
old product from your youth you hope never comes back: Vegetables.
most important thing you want changed by this time next year: A credit card would be nice…
do you plan on living in your city for the rest of your life?: Nope.
if no, then where to next?: Netherlands/Belgium/Shinjuku/Toronto
if yes, the main reason why you stay?: I know when cabbies are trying to rip me off.
are you happy?: Quite.
if not, the top 3 reasons why you’re not: where did my pants go?